Funny Stones To Tickle Your Funny Bones Pt 4 Food was the topic of many epitaphs.
Here lies old Rastus Sominy
Died a-eating hominy
In 1859 anno domini
Savannah, Georgia
He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.
Schenectady, New York
She was not smart, she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swellin';
All empty stands her little chair:
She died of eatin' water-mellon.
In a New Jersey cemetery
Rebecca Freeland
1741
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.
Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.
Who died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.
Falkirk, England
1690
Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.
Here lies Johnny Cole.
Who died upon my soul
After eating a plentiful dinner.
While chewing his crust
He was turned into dust
With his crimes undigested - poor sinner.
In memory of Anna Hopewell
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies cut down like unripe fruit,
The wife of Deacon Amos Shute:
She died of drinking too much coffee,
Anny Dominy -- eighteen-forty.
Roxbury, Connecticut
Eliza, Sorrowing
Rears This Marble Slab
To Her Dear John
Who Died of Eating Crab.
Crouton - Asked by oldman52, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Sydney, Retired |