Are there any circumstances that an ex could act so badly that you'd tell his mother what he did?

I did, but mostly because I thought that the only reason that he did these terrible things (not run of the mill bad, but really bad betrayal) was because he thought that no one else but me would ever know. We're both in our thirties, so obviously I don't expect her to punish him or be able to do anything about it, but maybe this will finally force him to face the shame of what he did.

Men, if you suddenly decided to grow a beard or mustache right now

(let's say you don't have one), how pissed off would your s/o be at you?

Please describe the insignificance of you.

The *ignorant* people fortunately for me, ignore me.

Not to be profane...but I need a snappy fairly appropriate and funny comeback for a kid making the

statement, "you can suck my dick" at me or other staff. This seems to be the new phrase to spew at teachers and other staff this year. I have plenty of funny responses for the word fuck and the phrase "fuck you". But none for this new phrase.
Help a girl out.

Update: October 23, 2009.
I get it that alot of you don't think this is appropriate. But I don't work in your average High School and paradox and irreverence work far better than admonishments. And calling their parents is fairly useless...most of their parents talk this way to their own family members. I don't and in the art room the kids don't usually talk that way. Room rules..."you want to ring the bell and cry 'sanctuary' to be in here for a special reason like timing yourself out...you need to keep it PG..but new kids need to be taught the ropes...I try to use humor, irreverence and paradox. It works so much better. For the fuck thing...I use paradox...I get them to say fuck over and over again in quick repetition and then ask them to hold their elbows out and then move them up and down and then ask them to walk....this of course makes them look and sound like a chicken...something I point out by yelling out "cock a doodle do"....Now the older kids know this joke so they will hang out for the laugh value...and it always humiliates the player for a minute and then I push them mock playing in the arm and laugh and they don't use the work "fuck" in front of me anymore.

Update: October 23, 2009.
Lots of great ideas. I think alot of people don't realize I work with hard core youth who tune out the typical "professional/adult like response". I think I might just try looking totally shocked and saying in a totally amazed voice..."OH, I didn't think you had one" (implying that they are a pussy). It's a clean enough statement that will make the other kids laugh. That makes for a huge deterent to say anything similar to me.

Has anyone read charles dickens' the mystery of edwin drood?

Just wanted to know if the book was worth reading despite being unfinished. I was thinking about going to the bookstore and buying a copy.

My girlfriend has time for everyone but me.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months. When we started, it was great, passion, fun, sarcasm. Great. Well her room mate became very jealous, and things got awkward. Long story short 2 months in, her room mate was one of the biggest reasons she dumped me. Because it was "awkward". Plus school had started, and she was working a lot as well and didnt have time for me. I understood all this. She is a very "private" person so she says. And tends to not show, or let anyone know we are together out in public. Well she dumped me like I said. And I would have moved on but, one night she saw me with one of my girl friends and she got all jealous, and sent me a text saying "Gotta Love Rebounds!!!!!!" But when I asked her about it, she was too prideful to tell me she was jealous. Anyways, we hung out after that, and she pursued me!! After all that she came after me! I was baffled, we were just back together out of no where! But it was never said out loud. So I confronted her about her being more open with me, and she said with time. Which I understand as well. Well a good friend of hers is coming to town from New Orleans Nov. 1st. And they have been friends for years. When we first started dating she said he would marry her if she asked him too. So I asked if I could meet him. But her response was, that when he comes to town she just likes it to be her and him. Now, I trust her. I really do, any one else and I would be out the door. But I am still not comfortable with any of this. I need her to be more open! To show that she cares! And this is just a small piece of it all!! I really like this girl, I need some advice PLEASE!

If you had the ability to upgrade yourself, how would you accomplish it?

I recently started attending a church in my area and I have been enjoying it.

Last Sunday we went to a class called beginnings which introduces you to the church. At the end of the class they offered the opportunity to officially join.
We checked the Not at this time but we want to continue to receive info. I don't want to jump in to soon because It's just been a month attending services. Prior to this I have never attended.

Once you join they expect you to participate and help financially. From what I've heard it's a common thing that a church asks for 10% of your income. I've asked a few others who attend other churches and they more or less said the same thing.

Not sure if I'm ready to jump in and donate that much already. Does that make me a bad person? and if I may ask how much do you donate to your church.

Thanks in advance.

Update: October 30, 2009.
I wanted to thank everyone who took time out to respond to my question. I got lot's of Great comments!! :-)

Is anyone in a long distance relationship?

For those who are, how do you cope? Saying goodbye is very hard for me, I always end up feeling like crying.

Who wants to join me in singing the BURGER KING song

Ding Fries are Done! now THAT will put you in the christmas spirit!

Who is ready to get all liquored up and go door to door singing Christmas carols?

Is it too early?
What if I showed up at your house?