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WTH?
WTH? / Married Life / 2:50 AM - Saturday May 17, 2008
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(Female, 29-35) asked:


He apologized for something that was said to me by him. Then told me he just wanted to test my limits with him. also complained that I never give him any limits.
Why do some men just looove to piss their women off?


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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: angllhugnu2


If you are having a s/o other who is treating you as if you were a sibling, or a parent (as he experienced them proding and testing each other into an argument)is, and can be, a serious issue waiting to boil over on you. Men (or women) who push the limits of one's patience are asking for one thing and one thing only; to be given an ultimatum.

What is the ultimatum? Well, it might sound a bit like this. "Look Bucko...I do not know who it is you think I am...one of your brothers....a bully that used to pick on you....or one of your parents who loved picking on your (mother/father)....I AM ________! If you want this relationship to last more than just a few more hours...You will need to wake up and realize what it is you will be losing if you continue this immature behavior....NOW, I love you....leave me be for an hour while I settle down.

angllHugnuu2
Author of IM with God


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A Thinker (Female, San Francisco, 36-45, Technical) answered:

Screenname: meowmeowww


well...you do need to set boundaries in a healthy relationship

but someone who constantly wants to test them and try to push your buttons is rather immature and annoying at my age....I want PEACE, Serenity and little drama....I don't want someone pushing my buttons

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A Trendsetter (Female, San Francisco, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: msheartbeat


If he is truly being honest about you not giving him any limits, that is something you need to correct IMMEDIATELY. Everyone needs limits and boundaries so they know what you expect of them and their relationship with you. They need to know your bottom line to avoid pissing you off, and what you want so they can make you happy.

If you are not providing boundaries and rules for behavior and for him to maintain his involvement with you, then you are being kinda doormatty girlfriend and need to stand up for yourself and tell him when he is getting out of line.

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: barbb


I don't know, but they sure know how to and then never explain anything .

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A Creative (Female, Philadelphia, 46-55, Retail) answered:

Screenname: westhawk959


I think he does that to find out how/where you are vulnerable. It is a potential 'control' he can have over your emotions. Your answers should be logical and practical- if he hits on emotion, sometimes silence is the best response. A simple 'we'll talk later about that' allows you to stay in control and figure out an appropriate response for 'later'.

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: spitfire815


Because it's in their nature:=)

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, New Orleans, Who Cares?, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: hwyrider


he doesnt have an excuse to his misdeeds...he is back peddling...we dont want u pissed...its just sometimes..we F##k up..no one is perfect.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, 22-25, Retail) answered:

Screenname: jeepgirl95


as my husband says to me he thinks im cute when im mad. I dont try to understand anymore, their men!

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A Guy Critical (Male, 56-65, Retired) answered:

Screenname: trhjr1


Because it's fun.

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A Career Man (Male, Los Angeles, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: buffer


Screw him - he is a manipulator

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