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Uncensored Responses

Do overs?
Do overs? / Dating / 5:28 PM - Sunday May 11, 2008
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(Male, 29-35) asked:


For the women in here: say you dump your bf of a couple of years who at some point you really loved (and he really loved you, plans to spend the rest of your lives together, the whole enchilada), but lately had just let go of himself and the relationship. He takes it in stride and lets you go with a "If you ever change your mind, drop me a call!".
Six months later you think you might have made a mistake. Thing is, you have never heard from the guy again, you don't know if he has got his act together and if he is/is not in a new relationship now. Do you make the call? Do you let him know, indirectly of course, what's on your mind? Or you just try to forget all about him?



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A Trendsetter (Female, San Francisco, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: msheartbeat


After that length of time I would have moved on. So no, I would not go look him up or bother him with any questions. I would just figure our time together was over, we had both moved on, and let it go at that.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, London, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: jadeiris


I've done the whole "try again" thing too many times. I'm afraid I'd stand by the original decision- you can't go backwards.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Charlotte, Who Cares?, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: smartblond


nope sorry.. I dont believe in looking in the rear view mirror.. its over and I have moved on.. I am not going to wait for some guy to get it together... If he wants me.. great come find me.. then maybe we will see.. but I would never call him, Since HE let it go he needs to make the strides, do the work and show me he has his act together.. NOT by words but by long term consistant actions

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A Thinker (Female, 18-21) answered:

Screenname: missconfused


i would out of intreague, but i wouldnt get my hopes up for fear he had moved on

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An Engaged Girl (Female, 29-35, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: almostsinful


If I were in that situation, I would know that I hadn't made a mistake, seeing the guy who "really loved me" hadn't bothered to show any sort of emotion that we were breaking things off. Relationships and love are important, and I don't play games..

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A Career Woman (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: baddgirl


If he didn't fight for me the first time around I would know that he didn't love me the way I want or deserve to be loved. I would not be interested in rekindling that relationhip.

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A Thinker (Female, New York, 29-35, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: electragold21


Six months? Too long. Way too long. Even if I knew he was still available, I would have left him for a reason. I generally don't leave people unless it's for a really good reason.

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