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My rich ex is going to screw me!
My rich ex is going to screw me! / Family & Parenting / 11:47 - Thursday June 29, 2006
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A Trendsetter (Female, New York, 22-25, Artist / Musician / Writer) asked:


I recently split with my boyfriend and we have a one year old daughter. He comes from a wealthy family and I come from a middle class family. Right now I am only making enough at my job to barely get by. He agreed to pay me child support through the courts which amounts to 544 dollars a month. Now he has gotten a lawyer out of nowhere and is demanding joint custody ( which reduces child support by half or more). I have no problem with giving him that but I am really broke and cannot afford to lose the support. He says that he will pay me the usual amount off the books but I really don't want to rely on his word at this point. I don't have any idea what my options are and I am afraid of losing all of the child support. Does anyone out there know anything about this? Thanks so much!


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A Career Woman (Female, Charlotte, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: thottienc


If he'll take half the custody for your daughter, your expenses related to her will go down. He is not to support your general lifestyle-just a Part of the financial needs of your child, which is why the Courts would cut his support in half. But thats a good thing, isn't it, that your child gets equal time with her dad AND he has the burdens of daycare and transportation, food and clothing, etc? You can get a part time job to work on the days that he has her and you can have some free weekends. Look on the brightside of this!

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A Thinker (Female, Dallas, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: kdtxchic30


This may sound harsh but this is reality. You can never look at child support as a guarantee and/or depend on it for survival!!! You have to look at it as a bonus, plain and simple. You can not depend on it!!! You need to find a way to support you and your child on your own. This is the cold hard truth.

I am a single mother and my ex-husband always promised to provide for our son, etc. LOL...there are days, weeks, months that he has held up to his responsibilites then there are months and years that he gets pissed and doesn't pay. This is when I learned real quick not to expect it!!!

He has a right to joint custody and will more then likely get it unless he is an unfit father which by the way is extremely hard to prove. So you need to get your shit together now and find other ways to make money and provide for your child. Don't ever make backdoor deals or take his word for it because you will never be able to enforce it through the Courts.

I am going through this same issue right now and have a child support hearing coming up. They will more then likely reduce my pay, but then again I was expecting it and have prepared for the reduction. Hell right now I haven't gotten cs in over 6 months so something is better then nothing. Good luck!

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A Life of the Party (Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: catman5169


Trust me on this....don't do anything "off the books"; I guarantee if you do, it will come back to bite you in the butt.
I would imagine that there are attorneys in your area that work with people who cannot afford regular lawyer fees. Seek them out...Human Services can probably advise you of some.

I worked 20 years in a prison system, and the first thing that they told me was CYA...covre your---anatomy! When Inmates took me to court, I had the paperwork/proof that I needed. Hope you do the same.

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